Goran the Magnificent

I’ve been living in my daughter-in law's condo for the last seven years since my husband's death and my kids decided it was time for Nana to move to the city. Actually they were worried I'd fall off the roof while cleaning the gutters and break a hip or have” the big one” clearing the snow off my long drive. I know nothing about condo living and had a rude awakening when my heat stopped working this winter. Did you know that everything inside those walls is your responsibility? When it happened I called the front desk to ask for building maintenance to fix it. Nope, you need to call a heating guy. Try Goran. He's done work in this building. It’s the holiday season, I’m afraid of getting some technician who’s hung over or is waiting to be. But I’m really cold. When I call the phone number it is picked up immediately by Goran with a gruff voice. “Where you live? I don’t know that building.” I assure him that he does and was recommended by the building management co. OK I come there in half hour..No I’m not there and can you give me a ballpark estimate for this repair? “One thousand dollars”. Say what?, a new fan costs only $300. I had already priced the part before calling but I didn't say that. Called my son who just wanted the thing fixed…use the guy get it done. OK but I want you here. This guy is freaky sounds like an old time gangster. I then go down to the front desk and ask that they please check on me if my son doesn’t show up. Pleading the old lady's hand not wanting to be robbed or killed. One half hour later, exactly the desk rings and sends Goran up. I open my door and await his arrival. The elevator opens..OMG! Why didn’t I put makeup on and my tight jeans. This guy is to die for, 6”6” built like a linebacker and handsome to boot. And here I am in droopy jeans trying to stuff the last half of a sandwich down. Walking past me he says “you’re German”, NO..You look german. No I’m Jewish by injection..should never have said that now I must explain that I married a Jew and joined the tribe…Like he injected me..Get it? I still say you’re german. No. Then he spots a jar of sauerkraut on the counter. I knew it. NO. I lived in Germany for a long time and have many Jewish friends. OMG Some of my best friends are Jewish..Here it comes it’s accompanied with photos from his phone of three old men friends. I cook for them except when I make roast pig then they can’t enjoy. So, you like living in this box? He’s giving me the third degree. Goes to the window look nothing out there but other buildings of boxes. How much you pay in assessment? I’m explaining how I don’t own but my son does. You pay him rent? Yes. I would never charge my mother rent to live in a box. With that my son Matt enters. You charge your mom rent? OK so you told him. This is an ongoing joke between Matt and his Indian friend who hits Matt repeatedly with “An Indian son would never charge his mother rent..shame on you.” My younger son had offered his basement but I don’t do basements. It came with a disclaimer No men and when you start to get stinky it’s off to the old actors home with you. Now Goran sees an opportunity to offer me a house. I should have a house and his is available..great rent and walk out basement. Thanks but no thanks. OK you miss good deal. My son leaves. Goran apologies for hitting on him and dives once again into his house offer. Out of know where he starts with socialism. We’re not ready for it but it’s coming. Everyone treated the same…Healthcare, housing,schooling. The German is coming out as He opens the heating unit and pulls the blower out. I’ll be back..when? Don’t worry. Where’s your workplace? All over this city. I know everyone, use their workroom, exchange this part for a new motor from their workroom, clean it up and bring it back to you. No overhead for me. I have been doing this for years, no overhead come and go as I please. My kids got to go to Lake Forest schools, played sports got scholarships, not bad deal. I’m laughing now I know his life story. He should have been a stand up comic. But where did he go, when is he coming back?

One hour later he’s back with more advice for me and hyping his house. Asking if I like blues. He and his wife love the House of Blues. He’s now telling me about his wife’s job working with people who have sleep napier. That’s a whole other family history lesson cause both my boys’ suffer from it. My heating unit is put back together. He asks who’s paying for this. Since My momma didn’t make no fool I say I am. only $750 for you. It was a great day, money saved lots of laughs and my son got taken down a notch or two.